Why Forgiveness Is So Important

This is a message I recently sent out to my mailing list and newsletter group from this blog. I thought it would make an interesting post and open up some great discussion.

So I decided to share it with all of my readers. This is just a small sample of the great stuff people in my newsletter get access to. I hope you all enjoy this post.

I hope all is going well for you today. I got a call from one of my hypnosis students a few weeks ago, and I thought the conversation I had with him would make for an interesting thread.

Recently I was teaching a few of my select students a few advanced techniques which I felt could really improve their success with their clients. I was showing them how to use a technique called “Chair Therapy”. I personally don’t like to use the term “Chair Therapy” as it implies I do therapy, which I don’t as I’m not a therapist nor trained to practice therapy. I prefer to use the term “Chair Work” or “Forgiveness Work” instead and that is how I address it to my students and my clients if needed.

Chair Work is a very powerful technique, which I learned from a great hypnosis teacher named Gerald Kein who I’m sure all of you know. Basically when you use Chair Work, you have the person in hypnosis imagine, pretend, or visualize that the person that has hurt them the most, or whatever the situation, is in a chair across from them in a room.

Typically you should give suggestions that the person who hurt your client in some way is tied to the chair or locked down in the chair so they can’t hurt your client. Sometimes you can even gag the other person if needed. Whatever it takes to make your client feel comfortable with moving on.

I can’t go over the whole technique, but the purpose of this technique is to work out any issues, release emotions, and build up anger or guilt that your client may have toward the person in the other chair. Your end goal is to have your client express what they feel they need to say or get off of their chest so that they can forgive the person in the other chair.

This technique is very powerful because locked up guilt can cause a lot of problems if not dealt with in a timely fashion. As someone once said, “Forgiveness is the eraser of guilt

My student told me he had a client who he used this technique with, and he got great results during the actual technique. He got his client to forgive the person in the other chair and everyone else the client had put in the chair. Yes, sometimes it is more than one person that may end up in the chair.

Well, everything went well during the technique and the post session wrap up went well, but my student said his client called him up a few days later and reported he wasn’t feeling as good as he did before and still had his problem. The issue being dealt with was habitual sadness also known to some as depression. He did have proper referrals as well to work with this situation. My student talked some more with the client and said they would work on some other stuff in the next session.

So he called me up for some advice and we went through a few different thoughts and ideas, but eventually we got to the part where he did chair work. I asked him to recap that part of the session with me. As he recapped it to me, I noticed something I thought was quite important that he missed.

Now, as Hypnotists, we know there is usually more than one way to get the outcome we want for our client, but I felt quite strongly that the part of the technique that my student missed was SO IMPORTANT!

He got the client to place different people in the chair across from him, and he was able to forgive all of them, but he forgot one person who was very important to the whole puzzle. Can you guess whom he forgot to tell the client to place in the chair across from him?

……………..HIMSELF. Or should I say, the actual client. My student put all these people who hurt the client in the chair, but forgot to put the client himself in the chair across from himself. Why is it so important that the client do chair work with himself? The main reason is because most of the time, when you deal with situations like this, the client tends to blame themselves for something in the past.

The client was able to forgive all these people who hurt him, but he also has to be able to forgive… himself.

You would be amazed at some of the conversations people have with themselves in the chair across from them. You would be amazed at the changes that can take place from this one little technique. I told my student to add this to the next session and report back to me. Well, my student had his session with the client and added this technique. It has been a couple of days since I heard from my student, but when he called, he reported that his client was doing great and that the moment the client emerged from hypnosis he said to him…

“It’s strange, but now I understand why I have felt the way I have, and that I don’t have to blame myself anymore”

I wrote the statement down when talking with my student as I thought those words were just so powerful! By adding that one little part to the session, my student was able to finally help his client to the point where the client now had all the resources he needed to get better.

My student also reports to me that the doctor sent him a thank you letter, which is pretty rare in our line of work. Either way the point of this message is, while it’s important to forgive others, we must always remember to forgive ourselves if we want true healing.

If you forget something in one session, it’s okay because our minds are built in a way where if you mess up you can always go back and add in the stuff you forget. Our mind is very powerful and very flexible. So at the end of the day remember that we can never truly heal if we still punish ourselves.

This technique isn’t needed with every session or situation, but if you think about it, who doesn’t need to release some guilt, built in within all of us? Sometimes you will also notice that forgiveness in itself can actually help the client more than the hypnosis in some cases.