Leading People To Yes

A lot of you have been asking for more information on Influence and Persuasion. So I reached out to my good friend and NLP & Persuasion Expert, Rintu Basu. I’m sure most of you know Rintu as he is the author of the popular The Persuasion Skills Black Book which I highly recommend if you haven’t read it. If you ever had an interest in Language Patterns, NLP or Influence and Persuasion I can’t think of a better book or teacher.

Well I’ve talked your ear off enough so let me hand you off to Rintu and please enjoy this article. If you enjoy this article please leave a comment below and let Rintu know.

—Josh

Leading People to Yes

As you sit there reading this article on Pacing and Leading Patterns you might have already noticed the hundreds of applications where you can use this to create fantastic results.

In this article we will look at an extremely covert but very powerful hypnotic persuasion patterns. We will explore the benefits of using it, where it comes from and how you can use it to create some powerful results of your own.

Imagine a hypnotic language pattern that just takes your client from where they currently are and gently leads them to exactly where you want them to go in such a covert way that you only realise that you have got to your destination once you have arrived. How good an idea is that?

Now, some hypnotists see this as a great hypnosis tool to use with clients. Good hypnotists see this is a great tool to use both in and out of a therapy room. The best hypnotists have this so ingrained in their language that they can’t help themselves and are continually using these patterns to create compelling results.

Are You Sitting Comfortably?

As you read this article you might notice that I sometimes have a strange sentence structure. Sometimes this is because I write very colloquially from the UK, sometimes it is because I have an original approach to grammar and sometimes it is because I am delivering language patterns. I’ve already thrown a few at you, have you noticed?

You might have noticed several of the patterns the first time round and you may have caught a few more when you scan through again, certainly by the end of this article you will know how to use Pace and Lead Patterns to take anyone from where they are to where you want them to go. That would be the time to reread and notice the pattern.

Stepping Out of the Hypnotherapist’s Office

One pattern hypnotherapists use a lot, because it is extremely powerful is what I call a Pace and Lead Pattern. You may use them yourself. A typical phrase might be; “As you sit in the chair, with your eyes closed, you feel more relaxed.”

Notice how in that statement, assuming this is a hypnotherapy client situation, the first two statements, sitting in a chair with eyes closed are completely verifiable true and correct. The third statement cannot be externally verified by the hypnotherapist but the client is being led to making it true. The hypnotherapist makes two completely true statements and then suggests something that they would like to be true as if it is. This is what I call a Pace and Lead statement.

The reason this works so very powerfully is because you build rapport with statements that are true. Most people are socialized to like similarity and familiarity so by pointing these out it feels as if we are in agreement. The lead for the third part is the point where now there is a common bond you can take your subject to a new place. Obviously doing this in short steps and repeating the cycle is more covert than making one huge jump, but feel free to explore the differing effects of this pattern.

The structure of the pattern is simply making two completely true statements and then leading to a statement that you would like to be true. So now you have seen an example and discovered the foundation of the pattern you are ready to see some of the whole range of applications this has.

We Discussed Your Needs, Discovered All the Benefits and Can Now Move on to Discuss Payment

The best sales people are all hypnotists. A particular brand of pacing and leading patterns were translated into sales training and given the name of Yes Sets. Here the sales person would get the prospect by asking closed questions where the answer was yes.

The sales person would then finish with the question they wanted a yes response for knowing that if the prospect has already answered yes several times they are likely to say yes again. Here is a typical sort of sale pitch as an example:

  • It was the green one you picked out wasn’t it?
  • Are you happy with my explanation of how to use it? (Obviously only if you know they already are.)
  • Do you want to pay the deposit now?

This is a simplistic example and having read it I expect you have got the idea of how you can expand the idea in different direction. Depending on the context you might just make statements; here is an example from a presenter to a group at the opening of a presentation:

  • You are sat in this room
  • Watching me speak about (X)
  • And that means you are ready to learn more about (X)

Or you might give your subject the illusion of choice by asking questions. For example here is a coach summarising a coaching session with a client:

  • We’ve sat and discussed your goals, are you happy with those goals?
  • Then we went through the next steps to accelerate your progress, can you see those steps clearly?
  • And finally we made sure you have the motivation and commitment to follow this through. Can you still imagine how great you will feel when you have achieved all of this?

Read, Understand and Apply Accelerated Learning and Hypnotic Language Patterns

Now that you have read this article and seen a few examples you will want to know how to apply this yourself. Let us discuss a process to allow you to integrate this pattern into your normal everyday language.

The first thing I would like you to do is scan through the article again and notice how many times I have cycled you through this pattern. You have probably caught me several times just as you were reading through but I bet I have slipped this pattern past you a couple more times than you were expecting. I think this is a good thing to do because it gives you more knowledge of the pattern, how it works and how easy it is to slip past people.

The next thing I would like you to do is start practicing this pattern in conversations where the outcome doesn’t matter. Many people have a problem remembering to use patterns when in the middle of a conversation. This is why I suggest you do things the other way round and start having conversations specifically to use patterns.

You can turn the whole thing into a game. I often, just for the practice go into a conversation just using pace and lead patterns. The idea is when it is your turn to speak you have to say two truisms before you make the point you want to make.

For example if I am having a conversation and a friend asks me what I did last night I might respond with something like, “Sat in here talking to you about last night makes me think I should get out more all I did last night was watch TV. I’ve just admitted I need to get out more and told you all I did was watch TV so I guess you were doing something exciting. What were you doing last night?”

Notice how I cycled through pacing and leading statements twice, once to answer the question and once to ask the next question. You are possibly thinking that this this would be a stilted conversation, people might notice because it is a bit odd or that you might stumble over your words. The short answer is I completely agree and that is why you go out and practice with people that you are comfortable with and in conversations where the outcome doesn’t matter.

Here are a couple of other practice opportunities. Obviously the best way to get started is to have a study buddy so you can learn together. Another way might be just to pick people you are comfortable with, like a partner or family member and just practice with them. I know some coaches and therapists that will say to a client at the beginning or end of sessions that they are trying out a few language patterns and practice on them.

But for me the best way to practice is to just deliberately go into a conversation with the express intention of continually using the pattern until they notice and scream at you to stop. In the NLP Techniques of my website you will find more articles about Hypnotic Language Patterns and how to practice them until you are completely proficient.

Finally once you are comfortable with making Pacing and Leading statements start practicing having a defined objective as the lead part of the statement. You will notice as you start to play with the concept that you will find yourself using this pattern more and more almost to the point where you are just doing it instinctively.

Okay, Now I’ve Seen It and Done It How Do I Find Out More?

Rintu BasuMy name is Rintu Basu and I am the author of the internationally bestselling Persuasion Skills Black Book. I have a range of courses and a huge amount of free material about Persuasion Skills and Hypnotic Language Patterns.

You can find out more at the NLP Company Website or connect with me on the Facebook page for The Persuasion Skills Black Book and on Twitter @PersuasionTips